Timing is everything and even the passing of one second can make the difference in the direction our lives will take.
The other evening I went out to support a someone who was the recipient of an award. All of her closest friends were there…and me. Once upon a time she and I were very close confidants, but as they say,”a reason, a season or a lifetime…” But I digress.
She invited me over to her table and another friend asked me to join them for the evening. When we met we were all single. The two of them found boyfriends and got married. The honoree, soon became a match maker and made a couple attempts to hook me up with a couple of her boyfriend, now husbands, friends. Both of them were experiencing their issues, as people do. I tried to over look the concerns, but even more than that we just didn’t click.
About 30 minutes after my arrival at the table I noticed a familiar face but I couldn’t place where I had met the gentleman. My girlfriends husband came over and we began to get caught up on what was what. We were talking about mortgages, finances etc. He said that his best friend purchased a million dollar foreclosed home up north for $350k. His point was, if you can reduce the price of the home to $350k why in the hell would you cause a person to lose their home. Shortly after some other people came over to the table and he introduced the familiar looking bloke as his best friend. The best friend who they introduced me to several years ago. Interestingly enough he has nothing to say to me. Not even a cordial hello. I was somewhat surprised because if I recalled correctly he was just not that into me either.
The table was mixed with the single, married and divorced. From time to time I would chime in on a conversation about compatibility, attraction and so fourth. The honoree raved that she had met and married the man of her dreams and she took the time to get to know him and married him. She pointed at me and suggested that I should have taken the time to get to know her husbands friend. At this time I am assuming that he must be doing pretty well. But no matter. I don’t remember exactly how long ago I met the man but I don’t remember feeling like he could be “the one” but…(shoulder shrug)
When I was in college I dated a guy who did’t have much money but all of the guys admired him because of the kind of car he drove. It would be considered pimped out by today’s standards. A 19 something or other Monte Carlo equipped with wheels etc. A lot of other guys tried to imitate his car but they never came close. He was a very good looking guy. Nice most of the time, abusive the rest of the time and only an everyday type of sense. If you let one of my girlfriends from elementary school tell it I was always an “It” girl. One of the girls who had it. Looks, smarts and personality. I never really bought in to that because I was aware of all of the other women who were beating my time. But you never know how people see you. Anyways, there were some guys who were “crushin” on me but I was in a committed relationship. When my boyfriend moved home he had no intent of sending for me so that was that.
One night I went to the club to meet my girls. On my way in a guy stopped me and said,” I have XYZ car now. Do you want to date me now?” Before I could think I told him off. I don’t remember exactly everything I told him but I do remember saying that if he thought I was going to date him just because of the car he drove he was sadly mistaken. I don’t think he ever spoke to me again. Maybe it was too much? I grew up the daughter of a Master Sergeant who didn’t pull any punches. It wasn’t till many years later that I began learning the art of diplomacy. The fact of the matter is that people don’t have to like you and it is a blessing when someone does. When someone finally gets the courage to approach you be gentle with their feelings for as much as they will allow you.
Back to the story at hand. I am glad that the guy is doing well. But I have no regrets that we didn’t hit it off. It is not that he wasn’t a good looking, smart guy. But there are various factors that need to come into play for a relationship to work. What those factors are depends on the two people involved. If those factors are not there in the beginning chances are they may never come to fruition. Unless you turn into Mike Jones. Back then they didn’t want me. Now I’m hot they all on me. (Whatever happened to Mr. Jones anyway?) And who wants that type of situation anyway. Don’t you want someone who wants you for you. Just because someone doesn’t want to date you doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means that the two of you are not compatible. The same goes for women. We have crushes that don’t go our way all the time. The most that I can say is that it is all about timing. When you meet someone, what you have going on in your life, where your head is… At the setting of the sun we just all want to be loved. And it only comes when it is time. Begin the countdown.